Hola! Last time I shared with you my perspective on how I know that I am NOT listening:
- when one feels like advising the other party without being asked
- when one “shoulds” others into an action of our own preference
I find it very useful to keep in mind at all times the following phrase (I read it in the Emirates Airline inflight magazine):
“Be interested, not interesting.”
Indeed, if you simply listen and enjoy the conversation, you will allow the person to tell you about “how much he enjoyed Paris” without you bursting into a “…oh! I’ve been to Paris too!”, never to pick up again your friend’s French experiences but rather to speak about your own. What a pity… you will never know just how much inspiration you might have missed from listening to his story…
Another great idea that keeps me tuned into truly listening is to keep the following phrase close to myheart:
“...there is no right nor wrong, there is only different...”
Read this idea again, without being “logical.” Let these words simmer within and feel them.
Now visualize them. And bring to your memory an event that made you feel a strong contrast between you and the people around you.
For example, I re-live my arrival to Japan at age 21, wanting to learn that language. For heaven’s Sake, everything was DIFFERENT:
- the absolute obedience of the citizens to rules and regulations
- the ethical values concerning polygamy
- the table manners (they slurp while drinking tea or eating noodles while in Mexico this is totally unacceptable)
I remember having said at that time “BUT in Mexico WE...” Wanting to change them into the “correct” behavior. This very stressing attitude continued until I fell into an all night cry, to finally wake up and understand that I was not in Mexico; now I KNEW that simply life perspective was different.
Now I started bowing, obeying and not contradicting my parents…
…and slurping while drinking tea.
Me slurping? Mom, only in Japan! Don’t worry. You did raise me as a good Mexican…
Yes! Once you get the fact that we all have the divine right to think differently, truly flowing in your awareness, all of a sudden you are free to be free.
Let us listen to your thoughts and share them by commenting your experience.
Pleased to listen to you!