When Tolerance Becomes Ignorance


When Tolerance Becomes Ignorance

Being the wife of the most tolerant person I have ever met brings me to a very privileged position in which I have learned, first hand, the power of tolerance which is ultimately the purest form of compassion.


During my 36 years of marriage with a married man who is one generation older than me, comes from completely different religious background and lives in a different country than I do, I have been blessed with the practice of tolerance by example.


And like everything, too much of anything can have disastrous effects.


Knowing when tolerance is tolerance and not ignorance is one of the most delicate and important points of balance in our lives.


I ask myself: “Am I being compassionate or am I just conveniently avoiding an action that my intuition is telling me I should be taking?”


If it feels like I am betraying myself, then I know that it’s not tolerance what I am applying but rather self-betrayal. And this never works. Why? Because eventually one explodes when one is forcing oneself into a situation that one really doesn’t  want to be in.


Are you “tolerating” an undesirable treatment from your friend, relative or spouse “for the sake of peace”?


Well, you might just be preparing the grounds for a long, Cold War!

Being tolerant towards yourself is of utter importance.


Differentiating between Tolerance and Ignorance


How to know if you are “conveniently” betraying yourself or you are being tolerant?


By the way you FEEL.

How so?


For one thing, I know that we all are born good. It is during our growth that we acquire fear-based thoughts that make us act in ways that conduce us to act in an intolerant manner – or not.


It is certain that gratitude-based thoughts conduce to health, wealth and wellbeing.


Knowing the above, I know how to feel the other party’s feelings which scream softly: “HEEELP!!!” while acting in what would seem an “inappropriate, intolerable” manner.

Immediately I can feel the call for help disguised in “arrogance”, easily applying compassion as a natural reaction.


And this is when Mrs. Compassion simply steps in, bringing us together, surmounting any defensive action giving way to an initial smile, no matter how small, that will eventually melt the fear that has imprisoned the other person into a new friendship. No matter if I will ever see the person again.


In this state it is impossible to take things personal. The magic of compassion gives way to tolerance and a constructive relationship starts acting in the most natural manner.


Don’t forget. The most important person to be compassionate and tolerant with is yourself! When you so acknowledge this, there is no other way but the “right” way, the way that makes you feel good, and hence, since you are in a state of calm and wisdom, you can feel the peaceful way that will most definitely guide you to Clarity.


Under Clarity you will simply know that there is nothing to know, and a fruitful and kind relation will guide both of you into a sense of peace and constructive creativity.

Do not ignore yourself. Ignorance of self, ignoring one self is the biggest time-bomb.


Again, I want to thank my adorable spouse for having felt all my “arrogant kicks” as “calls for compassion” at the beginning of our wonderful relationship decades ago. His eternal kindness, gentleness and unlimited self-love have been a blessing not only to myself and our two lovely kids, but to all my friends and family…including you.


Choose self love*. Without any fear. Choose acting according to what your intuition is telling you instead of just “settling for the sake of convenience!”


Now you are setting the grounds for a peaceful, productive life in peace with yourself and with those around you.




*How to choose self-love?


In my next blog I will share how I got out of living in the “poor me” platform into rejoicing in the Great We platform.


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